Luverly Ideabirds!

Ideabird 7/26/13

The Zloon ships appeared overhead. The Zloon just just emerged, battered, from a war against the extremely nasty Kralgl. The Kralgl loved using genetically modified, mind-controlled troops from different worlds they'd passed by. They'd captured a good breeding stock of humans eight thousand years ago, and had bred them into a population of 50-million unthinking soldiers. The Zloon, in their kindness, removed the programming from all Kralgl troopers and returned them to their homes, feeling they'd fulfilled their obligations. Earth had to learn to deal with soldiers returning from a war they didn't know was happening.

Ideabird 7/24/13

With the advent of camera phones the rate of UFO sightings is down. With the advent of cheap brain scanners (for running said phones) religious visions and experiences can be tracked. Then the fun begins!

Ideabird 7/22/13

In five years the technology will be out there to digitize your face so well that you can’t tell who a video phone call is from. A teenager in Ethiopia may buy a digital mask of your face, call your address book, and ask for money to be wired. The mask will match their facial movements as they have a conversation with you. You will need to have your own personal password that you share with your friends so you can verify your identity.

Ideabird 7/19/13

Today, a little more of a story than a story idea. I hope you enjoy

Sunday at the MegaLoMart, and you’re enjoying your day off, nibbling McNuggets & checking the latest horror books. You stop by the pet section to check out the hamsters & rabbits. The cute fuzzies remind you of your childhood. You notice a little black plastic bag softly rustling in the garbage can. Untying it, you see a pile of nearly-suffocated hamsters. The clerk apologizes, “It's cheaper to put the old ones in a bag instead of giving them injections.” You're pissed off, and the manager apologizes too. “You shouldn't have to see that on the floor, it should be done in the back." The manager's walkie crackles. There's a palette of frozen chicken that spoiled, and needs his signature before they can dump it in the garbage. The horror comes when you realize there are whole factories pumping out animals to dump in the garbage, dump down toilets. You stagger out. Monday you go back to your job at the nursing home.

Ideabird 7/17/13

Caraway the fairy was puzzled by her mother's story. "Now that you've lost your first tooth, you should place it under your pillow. The Tooth Human might come and leave you a surprise!" She had never seen a human before,  and vowed that she would stay up and see what the Tooth Human looked like.

Ideabird 7/15/13

We return to the moon, sort of. In 20 years it’s still bloody expensive to send humans with life support to the godless vaccuum of the moon. But our ability to control machines directly with our minds is now pretty common tech. So a group of scientists directly control automata, basically Iron Man suits, as they walk over the surface. Of course they not only have cameras for eyes, but also have drilling mechanisms, advanced optical sensors, and little chemical labs in their “stomachs.”   They have touch feedback sensors, but they are crude, basically enough to let them know they are holding something.

Ideabird 7/12/13

Was he autistic? Perhaps. But he’d done pretty well for himself, making his way to the state senate. He always practiced his speeches in front of the Frog Prince and Dr. Dodo, his stuffed childhood friends. Froggie always cheered him on enthusiastically, while Dr. Dodo offered good advice. It was the evening before the big speech when he discovered his maid had sent them out to be dry cleaned.

Ideabird 7/10/13

All four of her Grandparents had Alzheimers, and she had the genes as well. As a child, watching them lose their minds terrified her. When her parents started becoming forgetful she set about computer mapping every neuron in her head, partially as a hail-mary backup, partially as a record for future generations. The mapping went so well  she could watch “her" mind become sentient. Finally she could talk to “herself." The biggest problem: her model, while self aware, had no memories.

Ideabird 7/8/13

If the red giant star Betelgeuse replaced our sun, it’s edge would extend out near Jupiter. The gas surface is nearly vacuum, but the temperature is nearly as hot as the filament of an old style light bulb. Not too bad for the surface of a star. Your spacesuit, more an ultra hardened, body-shaped spacecraft, keeps out the heat. And you get cool oxygen through the umbilicus provided by the mothership. Somewhere, just under the surface of the star, something is generating a regular signal. As you’re lowered down, something, possibly a meteor, snaps the line and you fall deeper into the sun. The supply line seals off and you drift downwards into the star. You fall for two days, your supplies running out, when you suddenly slow, and touch, feather-light, on a metal surface that extends for kilometers in every direction.

Ideabird 7/5/13

He wasn’t the fastest thinker in the world, always struggling for comebacks while the other kids talked so freely. But he could remember anything; and because he could regurgitate all the facts he learned, he was counted as smart. The more he read and remembered about history the more he was able to draws patterns between the facts, and it led to a lucrative career as an analyst who could make projections. As an older man he taught history, and continued seeing the patterns in world behavior. But he never really had a way to express to these beautiful young people what danger the world was in as all the signs pointed to global war.

Ideabird 7/3/13

In 1991 scientists in Utah detected something they dubbed the Oh-My-God Particle: a proton travelling 99.99999999999999999999951% the speed of light. This is faster than the Starship Enterprise doing warp 9. Because traveling so fast slows the perceived rate of time passing, a person traveling at that speed would perceive a trip to the center of the Milky Way taking only three seconds. A trip to the edge of the observable universe would feel like 19 days. The problem is you would run into subatomic goo slowing you down before you even hit the Virgo Cluster.  Since 1991 there have been at least 15 detections of similar objects. No source has been detected for any of them.

© Tony Jonick 2013